ARTICLE 3 — Purgatory Series — Part III — “Forming Hearts of Mercy: A Family Guide to Helping the Holy Souls in Purgatory”

Figure 1. Calvary Cemetery St. Paul Minnesota showing the dome of the Cathedral of St. Paul and the steeple of St. Agnes Catholic Church.

In the Middle Ages, Catholics began dedicating each month to a particular devotion—January to the Holy Name of Jesus, June to the Sacred Heart, October to the Holy Rosary. Families today are rediscovering this beautiful rhythm of the Church year, weaving these devotions into ordinary life so that faith becomes something lived, not merely learned. Monthly devotions help form the heart: they make the virtues tangible, memorable, and joyful.

As we move into the month of November, the Catholic calendar turns our attention to the Holy Souls in Purgatory. This devotion offers families a beautiful opportunity to deepen prayer, cultivate virtue, and practice mercy by remembering loved ones who have crossed into eternal life.

The Church teaches that sin is real, and while God’s forgiveness is immediate and complete, most souls do not enter heaven instantly. Purgatory is the final stage of God’s mercy—a place of purification where the soul is lovingly prepared for the full glory of heaven. It is, in a sense, a spiritual “finishing school,” where the rough edges left by sin are refined, healed, and made radiant.

This is why November matters so deeply: the Holy Souls cannot help themselves. They rely on the prayers, sacrifices, and acts of love offered by the living. And so, parents and grandparents have a sacred role in teaching the younger generation what mercy truly looks like. November becomes a natural classroom for forming compassionate hearts—inviting the young to pray for the dead, to remember family members who have gone before us, and to understand that love continues beyond this life. In this month dedicated to the Holy Souls, we have a powerful opportunity to shape young hearts into hearts of mercy.

Helping Children Understand Mercy

The home is the first place where mercy is taught. Long before children understand theology, they understand relationships—how forgiveness feels, how kindness heals, how love restores what was broken. When families practice the devotion to the Holy Souls in November, they are teaching their children one of the deepest truths of the faith: mercy extends beyond this world.

Children grasp mercy through simple, concrete experiences. They learn what mercy feels like long before they can define it. When a child breaks a rule and a parent responds with patience rather than anger, the child experiences a “second chance”—a living lesson in mercy. When they see adults model compassion toward someone who made a mistake, or when a game pauses for a “mercy rule,” they begin to understand that mercy is not weakness but love in action.

Young people also learn mercy through what they do. Sharing with a classmate, comforting a sad friend, helping a sibling clean up a mess, donating food, or participating in a service project—all of these small acts teach them that kindness heals and restores. In faith settings, children absorb mercy through the stories they hear: Jesus forgiving sinners, welcoming the lost, and teaching the Beatitudes. These moments shape their understanding that mercy is a core part of love, justice, and the Christian life.

Teaching Young Hearts Mercy Through the Communion of Saints

Figure 2. The saints remind young hearts that mercy is not an idea but a way of living God's love every day.

Young hearts learn mercy best when they see it lived. The Communion of Saints gives families a powerful way to teach compassion, forgiveness, and charity by connecting the young with holy men and women who practiced mercy in extraordinary—and often very ordinary—ways. The saints become spiritual “older brothers and sisters,” showing what love looks like in action.

Stories of merciful saints help young hearts see that holiness is not abstract but lived in real, tangible ways. St. Martin de Porres cared tenderly for the sick, the poor, and even injured animals; St. Faustina Kowalska revealed the depths of Divine Mercy through her trust in Jesus; and St. Thérèse of Lisieux practiced mercy through small acts of kindness and patient love. Their lives show that mercy is not only heroic—it is daily, gentle, and attainable.

Through these examples, families can introduce the Communion of Saints as God’s great, living family: those in heaven, those on earth, and those being purified in purgatory. Understanding this helps young hearts realize they are never alone when they try to be kind or forgiving. The saints pray for them, encourage them, and accompany them, while the Holy Souls rely on their prayers. Mercy becomes a shared mission across heaven and earth, forming a deep sense of connection and compassion within the family.

Explaining Purgatory to Young Hearts in a Simple, Hopeful Way

Purgatory can be a difficult concept for young hearts to grasp, so offering an everyday example helps make it real. One way to explain it is through the idea of natural consequences. Imagine a young child rushing through chores and accidentally knocking over a lamp. They immediately apologize, and of course the parent forgives them. The relationship is restored—but the broken lamp is still on the floor. Forgiveness doesn’t automatically fix what was damaged. It takes time, care, and sometimes help from others to make things right again.

This is similar to purgatory. God forgives us completely when we repent, but the effects of sin—the “mess” left behind—still need healing. Purgatory is not punishment; it is the final stage of God’s mercy, where the soul is gently purified and made ready for heaven. It is the spiritual “cleanup” that prepares us to enter God’s presence radiant and whole.

So What Do We Do Next? We Pray.

Figure 3. In this place of remembrance, prayer becomes our gift to the Holy Souls.

Just as a young child might need help cleaning up the broken lamp, the Holy Souls rely on us. They cannot help themselves; they depend on the prayers, sacrifices, and acts of love offered by the living. November gives families a beautiful opportunity to make this mercy tangible.

Here are meaningful, age‑appropriate ways for the Domestic Church to pray for the Holy Souls:

• Stop at a cemetery during November 1^st through November 8th. Let each young heart choose a headstone, read the name, and offer a prayer for that person.

• Have a Mass offered for deceased family members and attend together. Make it a special remembrance—share stories and a meal together afterward.

• Pray the Rosary for the souls of the departed at your parish.

• Say a Hail Mary each time you drive past a cemetery.

• Write names of the recently deceased in your parish’s Book of the Names of the Dead during November.

Giving young hearts a tangible way to participate—helps your family embrace this devotion with love, hope, and mercy. It becomes a living practice of the Domestic Church, forming hearts that understand compassion not just in theory, but in action.

Indulgences: A Family‑Friendly Explanation

Figure 4. The Handbook of Indulgences (1991): A vital guide for families who want to pray effectively for the Holy Souls.

An indulgence is one of the most misunderstood teachings of the Church, but when explained simply, it becomes a beautiful expression of God’s mercy. An indulgence does not forgive sins—only confession does that. Instead, an indulgence helps heal the lingering effects of sins that have already been forgiven. Think of it as a spiritual “helping hand” from the Church that supports the soul in its final journey toward holiness.

When we sin, God forgives us completely, but the spiritual harm caused by our choices still needs healing. Catholics believe that good actions—prayer, charity, sacrifice, Scripture, and acts of devotion—help repair that damage. An indulgence strengthens those good actions by drawing from the Church’s spiritual treasury: the infinite merits of Jesus and the holy lives of the saints.

Two Kinds of Indulgences (With Child-Friendly Examples)

1. Plenary Indulgence

A plenary indulgence removes all remaining temporal punishment.

For a young heart, this could look like:

• Praying the Rosary in a church or as a family

• Walking the Stations of the Cross

• Reading the Bible for at least 30 minutes with devotion

(These examples come directly from the Church’s official indulgenced works.)

2. Partial Indulgence

A partial indulgence removes part of the temporal punishment.

For a young heart, this might look like:

• Making the Sign of the Cross with love

• Kissing a crucifix with devotion

• Doing a small act of kindness

• Helping someone in need

• Spending time in mental prayer

(All of these are official partial indulgences listed in the Handbook of Indulgences.)

Both plenary and partial indulgences are beautiful expressions of God’s mercy. They show that God not only forgives us but also gives us real, practical ways to heal the wounds caused by sin. Indulgences teach young hearts that even small acts of love carry spiritual power. They help families participate in the Church’s mission of mercy—lifting the Holy Souls closer to heaven and forming hearts that understand compassion, sacrifice, and hope.

Indulgences remind us that mercy is something we receive from God—and something we can generously give to others, especially those waiting in purgatory for the fullness of His light.

How St. Gregory’s Mercy Became a Gift for Every Family

Figure 5. St. Gregory the Great - whose wisdom and mercy gave the Church the gift of Gregorian Masses.

In 604 A.D., while serving as abbot of St. Andrew’s Abbey in Rome, St. Gregory the Great faced a difficult situation. A monk named Justus had secretly kept three gold coins, breaking the Rule of St. Benedict, which forbids monks from owning personal property. When Justus died, the other monks reacted harshly and placed his body on the refuse heap outside the abbey. Gregory soon realized that even when someone fails, they still deserve dignity and prayer. He ordered Justus to be buried properly and then offered thirty consecutive Masses for his soul. On the thirtieth day, God allowed Gregory to know that Justus had reached heaven—a powerful reminder that the Holy Mass truly helps souls, even after death.

Years later, after Gregory became pope, he received another revelation in which Christ affirmed his devotion to praying for the dead. Jesus revealed that thirty uninterrupted Masses offered for a soul would bring that soul swiftly into heaven, no matter how great its remaining debt. This is the origin of Gregorian Masses, one of the Church’s strongest expressions of mercy for the departed. It invites families to remember loved ones—those who died suddenly, alone, or without feeling fully loved—and to consider arranging Gregorian Masses for them, even including this request in their own living will as a final act of faith and charity.

Conclusion: Forming Hearts of Mercy

Figure 6.  Autumn's last fire at Calvary Cemetery, St. Paul Minnesota - Mercy and memory in one place.

Parents and grandparents have a unique calling: to pass on a faith that teaches children how to love in ways that reach beyond this life. Throughout this article, we’ve seen how simple family practices—praying for the dead, offering indulgences, remembering loved ones, and sharing the stories of the saints—form young hearts to understand that mercy is active, powerful, and real. Teaching children that even small acts of devotion can help the Holy Souls shows them that love continues after death and that God invites us to participate in His healing work.

The story of St. Gregory the Great and the tradition of Gregorian Masses is a perfect example to share with the young. It shows that compassion can change eternity, that the Mass has extraordinary power, and that praying for the dead is one of the greatest acts of charity we can offer. When families pass on this story—and the practices that flow from it—they create a legacy of mercy that will outlive them. A family that prays for the Holy Souls becomes a family that understands heaven, honors the Communion of Saints, and believes that God uses our love to lift souls home. Amen.

By Patricia Altier, CPO Board Member

References & Additional Resources:

·        “About the Communion of Saints – and Printable Activity Free.” Catholic Inspired, Oct. 2012. https://www.catholicinspired.com/post/about-the-communion-of-saints-and-a-printable-activity-free

·        “Comprehensive Guide to Partial and Plenary Indulgences.” Catholic Answers, Sept. 2026. https://www.catholic.com/tract/indulgences-catholic-answers-guide-to-partial-and-plenary-indulgences

·        Dore, Gustave. The Avaricious, Purgatorio Canto 20, Verses 16–18.* Circa 1857, Wikimedia Commons.

·        Gaynor, Neena. “A November Invitation: Practicing Mercy as a Family.” Words Like Honey, Oct. 2025. https://www.wordslikehoney.com/a-november-invitation-practicing-mercy-as-a-family/

·        Holy Heroes. “How to Explain Plenary Indulgences (to kids).” Oct. 2023. https://blog.holyheroes.com/how-to-explain-plenary-indulgences-to-kids/?doing_wp_cron=1790710215.3047010898590087890625

·        Osby, Darby. “The Mercy Rule: How to Teach the Works of Mercy.” Catechist’s Journey, Jan. 2016. https://catechistsjourney.loyolapress.com/2016/01/the-mercy-rule-how-to-teach-the-works-of-mercy/

·        Pressprich, Colleen. “Explaining Purgatory to Children.” Brother Francis Store, Nov. 2021. https://brotherfrancisstore.com/blogs/brother-francis-blog/explaining-purgatory-to-children?srsltid=AU7gw4WkvTE3KcvgvM2C7WxMAxJzgO9FWdg2QxiNjoDtTpFqpgmM6Afj

·        Rubens, Peter Paul. The Deliverance of Souls from Purgatory. Circa 1635, Tournai, Wikimedia Commons.

·        Susan Tassone. Praying with the Saints for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Our Sunday Visitor, 2009.

·        Susan Tassone. The Rosary for the Holy Souls in Purgatory. Our Sunday Visitor, 2002.

·        “The Holy Souls in Purgatory – Monthly Devotion for November.” Teaching Catholic Kids.com. https://www.teachingcatholickids.com/the-holy-souls-in-purgatory-monthly-devotion-for-november/

·        “Thirty Gregorian Masses — History and How to Arrange Them.” Catholic Repository, 2026. https://catholic-repository.org/devotions/thirty-gregorian-masses/